A daunting sky was the first sign that things would not end well, and a life defined by loss was ahead. The weekend had been on for the books. I had taken my sweetheart home to meet the parents. They had causally met a few weekends before for a brief hello at the our football tailgate. This weekend was a get to know this guy that I really, really like.
My family had experienced a busy weekend. It was full of food, laughter, memories and fun. My boyfriend, now husband, wanted to introduce me to family friends who lived nearby. We look the long road back to college, and I noticed the sky.
The color of the sunset was red, orange, pink, but there was also an odd heavy gray that loomed. I remember distinctly thinking how odd the color was.  We drove the 2 1/2 hours back to college. Upon arriving  back to my room I made the usual call home, life before cell phones and tracking apps, to say we were back safely and thanks for a a great weekend.
The call that defined my loss…
The call was to be a normal thing for us, but the abnormal answer came. My parents best friend answered. It wasn’t odd for her to be at our house, but very different for her to answer the phone. At that point, my life was changed forever. The looming, dark sky was speaking the horrible truth over me-my Daddy had suffered a massive heart attack. At the age of 16 and 20, my younger sister and I were without our earthly Father.
I had experienced loss before losing my Daddy. We have laughed over the years that we don’t have family reunions, but we have funerals instead. My life was not sheltered from loss and grief, but I had not felt that kind of pain. The weeks and months ahead were that of walking blindly through to survival.
Darkness looms
I think I hit those 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) over a long period of time. I honest found myself revisiting some of these stages as I walked through future milestones in my adult life.
Those few days have been dark. I have learned to find the joy in the grief. The hope in the loss. My heavenly Fathers love and comfort was revealed to me over time. I have gripped His grace to find healing. I found that the only way to walk through denial, anger, bargaining, depression  to find acceptance is with God at my side. His word is truth and He weeps with me. He captures every tear in a bottle.
I have shared with others that Christian music has gotten me through many a dark day. Several songs that speak to my heart and I listen to them over and over. I found Scripture verses that were promises for my future without an earthly Father, but hope for life with my Heavenly one. Small groups of friends ministered these truths to me, and were ready to share the hope of Christ. My sweetheart of a boyfriend walked with me every step of the way. He helped my heart find a healing and opened me up to his love for me as my God given husband. Â For you, walking through grief or loss, may mean seeking the assitance of a professional counselor.
The sky may appear dark and gloomy over your situation. Loss may be something you are walking through, but  it helps me knowing that Jesus keeps every tear in a bottle. He wept with his friends over the death of Lazarus. (John 11:35) He wept with us when we experience this same pain. Dig into His word and find His promises for your situation. He never leaves you for forsakes you. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
Are you walking through grief or loss? Can I pray for you? Email me-I would love to pray with you!